Brands Are People Too

If you’ve ever been shopping with me, you know I’m a loyal brand follower. I like labels. The generic of just about anything drives me batty. Even as a kid, I refused to eat Blue Label products from Ralph’s. You know, the plain white bag with the blue stripe across reading: Chips. Very inventive. Doritos brand Nacho Cheese tortilla chips, please.

I know a label is just a label, but to me a brand label always means a guarantee of quality, effectiveness and well, trust. I trust that Tide will give me the cleanest clothes. I trust that Biolage will give me the best hair. I trust that a Volkswagen will last almost forever. I trust that Belvedere is better than Smirnoff. And I trust that anyone in the public eye won’t drink, do drugs, won’t have scandalous affairs or act like a total idiot on camera.

Oh wait, that last part isn’t entirely true. Brands are people, too.

In the midst of recent brand crises, namely BP, Toyota and Tiger Woods, I’ve changed my tune a bit. A golfing genius has a sex addiction? The hippie dippy Prius isn’t perfect? A corrupt company is in bed with the U.S. government? No way.

Even technology brands are raising my eyebrow these days. Why is Oracle partnering with Hollywood to make a connection between Iron Man 2 and enterprise software? Um, there isn’t one. Let it go already.

Are brands allowed to make mistakes? No. We expect them to be perfect. That’s why they’re brands for fuck’s sake. You don’t get to be Toyota because you make crappy cars. You get to be Toyota because you strive for perfection. Safety is always first. What’s best for the driver, the passenger, the end user, the customer, the member, the consumer is always at the forefront of every decision Toyota makes.

I know, I’m kidding. Brands don’t give a crap about us anymore.

Facebook is using our data without our permission. Tiger Woods slept his way across the globe and back, and still plays golf. Americans are still buying the Toyota Prius. Oil is quickly spilling by the gallon as I type this blog post 30,000 feet above the Gulf. Backlash? Ha, think again.

The American public seems to be strangely fussy about who and what we will forgive and forget about. Pee Wee Herman will never live down his movie theater mishap. Neither will George Michael. Yet, we somehow forgive Bill Clinton for letting Monica Lewinsky get the best of him. Strange.

We’ve all made mistakes. Not like whoops, I forgot my keys mistake. But, whoops, I didn’t mean to roll around naked with my best friend’s wife mistake. Brands make mistakes too. It’s all become a gamble of who gets caught. I wonder who will be next.